Firsts and Lasts

It occurred to me recently that I am in a Season of Firsts. Since my dad passed away in July, I have gone through summer and fall and well into winter. Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone. These are our first holidays without my dad.

Thanksgiving isn't a holiday that I usually go home. This year my mom went to my dad's cousin, John and his wife Vonnie, and they filled candy bags for the Salvation Army. This is something my mom has done for several years, but this was the first year she did it without my dad. I was home for Christmas and this was the first year my dad wasn't at the head of the table and saying the prayer before our Christmas dinner. December 31 was my dad's birthday. This is the first year, I will think about him, but won't send a card or try to think of a gift for him. On January 1, we will begin a new year and things will happen in 2010, we'll have happy times and perhaps some not so happy times, but it's the first year my dad won't be a part of any of it.

Firsts aren't always bad, in fact many are good. I remember the first time I held my children, I remember their first words, their first steps, their first day of school, their first athletic endeavors. But this particular Season of Firsts is one I never wanted to happen. Karen Kingsbury has written a children's book called "Let me Hold You Longer" about "lasts."

So often we don't realize when we are having a "last." A couple weeks ago, Cody, Carson and Carissa were all home and as we were eating dinner, Cody made the remark that it had been a long time since our dinner table looked like it did that night. I remember all of them being there for dinner, but before this particular meal, I don't remember the last time it was the five of us at the dinner table. I remember the kids' first days of school, I took enough pictures to document the events, but I don't remember very many of their last days of school. When was the last time they sat in my lap while I read them a story? When was the last time I fed them? Or gave them a bath?

I have thought about "lasts" now for a while. Last summer as Noah and Brianna played in their brand new pool, I sat on the deck with Nancy and their neighbor, Fran, who has been in the neighborhood my whole life. On Christmas Eve last week, Fran passed away suddenly. I realized that night on the deck last summer was my last conversation with Fran. I never asked her about her life or her growing up years or how she met her husband. I realize that maybe every event, every encounter should be treated as a "last."

"Let me hold on longer, God, to every precious last." ("Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kinsgbury.

Love Every Moment,

Good One

Mark sent this to me from school and I liked it.



*Ducks Quack - Eagles Soar*
No one can make you serve customers well....that's because great service is a choice.
Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'
Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment....
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I 'll take a Diet Coke.'
Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today..'
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'
And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts...
'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called "You'll See It When You Believe It". Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'
'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'
'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.
'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give the m a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.... The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.
Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

Loops in Life

The other night as Elizabeth and I drove home after her brothers' football game, we were talking about how we liked seeing things that didn't go together. As we were talking and our toes were actually starting to warm up after watching the game on a chilly night, we met a car pulling a boat. Like a boat that people ski behind. We laughed about how we were talking about contrasting things and there was a boat on a cold night. Who has a boat out after 10 p.m. when the temperature is barely 30 degrees?

This picture is one of my all-time favorites. I took it when we went to Rocky Mountain National Park in July 2005. I like it because Carissa and Elizabeth are in summer clothes and behind them are the mountains with snow.

I see this sight a lot as I drive around the area where I live.

I stood in the same place and took these pictures. On one side of the road, are houses and a very tidy neighborhood. Then I turned around and took a picture of a farm.

Sometimes something just seems odd. I think that may be why I find hospitals such interesting places. You find the joy of new life there and the sadness of a loved one leaving life. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details of being at the hospital in Sheboygan when my dad was there, but if I recall correctly, I think the birthing unit was on the same floor as the ICU where we watched over dad. People hear bad news, people hear good news. All in the same place.

I'm not sure this post has a point, it's just one of those things I like to think about and look for. Kind of like an oxymoron. You stop for a moment, puzzle over it a bit and then realize you have just been given a little gift.

Watching for surprises,

The Fields Are Indeed Ripe

As I drive around central Iowa, I have been seeing this sight a lot:

This is a field of soy beans ready to be harvested. I took this a couple weeks ago and by now the beans have been taken out of the field. At that time, the corn still had a bit of green about the stalks and leaves; now it too is ready to be picked.

There are a bunch of lessons here, about the plants needing to die before being picked to provide food and nourishment, to fulfill the purpose for which they were planted. But the one I am most reminded of comes from John 4:35: Do you not say, "Four months more and then the harvest?" I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

I read a disturbing article in the paper this week about child pornography and even in my job typing on people's problems that are a result of poor choices and circumstances, I believe, indeed, the fields are ready for harvest.

Let's Have a Harvest Party,

Blogging?

On a recent note I posted, this was a comment Brenda made: I recently was considering why I blog.

I was at Michael's craft store the other day and the scrapbook aisle always draws me like ants to jelly. I was looking over the stickers and other scrapbooking accessories and the word "memory" was available in every way imaginable. There were ways to remember vacations, sports, every grade in school, weddings, childhood milestones, and on and on it goes. I think we are more aware of the significance of memories, of remembering certain times of our lives or even just the everyday-ness of life. We hold our memories a little more tightly.

Blogging is a part of that. A young lady, named Paige, who I think is wonderful, recently began her blog and she had some doubts and wondered if it was something she should do. I have read some things she has written and she is a gifted writer. She had a lot of encouragement and I'm happy to say she started blogging. All the blogs I have listed on this site are written by people I know and I love reading all of them.

But back to the reasons for blogging. Do I write because I think people are interested in my life? I think probably not. Personally, I cannot even imagine who would be interested. I don't even think my family reads the things I write. In fact, I don't know if anyone does. But that's okay. While I love my life, I'm sure to many it seems pretty ordinary, not too much excitement. But I believe that's probably how my parents and my grandparents saw their lives and now I want to know more about those lives. The irony of life is that we often become interested after the opportunity has passed. My mom has talked about "thrashing" season while she was a young girl. What was it like for my grandparents to farm? My Grandma Brasser used to talk about taking a sleigh in the winter. With horses. Pulling it. I would like to read their blogs now. So maybe someday, a grandchild or a great grandchild will want to read what life was like when we had to use computers and cell phones.

As Brenda asked the question, someone replied that they blog to remember. I can look back at other posts and see how God worked through something. If my family ever does read mine, they might get a little different glimpse of me that I don't always show. Not because I don't want to, just more because I don't think about it. It can be tiring to those around you to always have the waterfall of emotions going on. There are things I want to remember, the way I was feeling at certain times. Blogs remind me of what happened when and how I responded to it and how God used it. It can show how a person is feeling at a certain time and what is happening in their life. Even if no one else in the whole wide world reads it, you still have that place where you can remember what that time in your life was like. So write, be reminded of God's hand in your life, and then Give Thanks.

Blog on,

What's Cool For You, May Not Be Cool For Me

We were in Chicago over the weekend visiting Carissa and she had found a tour we could take that followed the El Lines and gave us an opportunity to do some walking and see some sites that are not quite as well known in Chicago. As we were waiting for the El to get back to our car, Carissa picked up a newspaper called RedEye. One of the articles was called "The 'It' Factor" and attempted to educate us on what was in, out or whatever. In other words, it was going to tell us about the Chicago Cool Index. I read the article and then decided to come up with Linda's Cool Index. Here's my cool list so far:

8. Public Transportation. I love public transportation. What a luxury to have scheduled time every day to read, to listen to music, hear a couple podcasts. I would not hear the "ding" of the dryer in the background or look up and see the dust bunnies in the corner telling me sweep them up NOW. In the bigger picture, it's much cheaper than driving and parking fees, it attempts to ease congestion, with fewer cars taking up space. Win-win.

7. Living downtown in a city. Take away transportation completely. Everything within walking distance. There is definitely a vibrant atmosphere and what a variety of people. Here is what the streets looked like that we walked. Looks a little tight, but it makes my cool list.

6. Green living. This was also considered cool in this very liberal publication so it really is possible for conservatives and liberals to find common ground. Nature fascinates me and God has created this amazing earth. Recycle, reuse waste less and be a little kinder to our world.

5. Contentment. I believe it is very cool to be content with who you are and what you have. It's not so cool to always want what you don't have and envy others' successes or stuff. Ick.

4. Healthy Living. It was a beautiful day when we took our hike and as we walked around Chicago, there were many people out walking, riding bikes, and moving. "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." (I Cor. 6:19-20)

3. Take the extra step. I wish when I do something, I would take it one step further. How many times in a day can I make life just a little easier for someone else? Can I hold a door open for the person behind me? Can I let the person with 3 items in their grocery cart go ahead of me? Can I let a car squeeze in front of me on the freeway when I'm just a little bit annoyed with the driver for trying to get 6 cars ahead when we knew long ago that lane was going to close? Monica talks about anticipating needs. How can I give what someone needs before they even know they need it? I accept this as a challenge.

2. Strive for excellence. When I see someone excel at what they do, it literally gives me goosebumps. Listening to Barb or Zach play the piano, watching professional football players, appreciating a good author. My friend, Betty, is a math genius. She sees numbers and letters and odd-looking symbols and you can just see the wheels in her head turning and in about two seconds she has the answer. And it's the right answer although I wouldn't know. Because of her, I will get through math this term. But being the best doesn't always require talent. There is a young black gentleman who is a cashier down at Iowa Methodist Medical Center by the name of Darrett. He greets every person who comes through his line by name and if he can't read it off your name badge, he asks to see it better. If patient families come through, he is equally friendly, asking everyone about their day. Last week, I had to work at the hospital and went down to get my grilled cheese because honestly they make the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever. I had been down earlier for a little refreshment and when I came back several hours later, Darrett still rememered my name and asked me if my day was still going well. Whether you are a student, a football player, a teacher or a medical transcriptionist, do your very best. I don't want the words "good enough" to be in my vocabulary. Or at least not in the same sentence. "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." (Colossions 3:23)

1. Love God, Love People. In my D-group at ICA is a young girl named Amanda. Amanda has such a sweet spirit, but it's her very real concern for others that gives me an appreciation for her that's on a different level. She has an "old" soul and that's very rare in a 17-year-old. During our D-group meeting a few weeks ago, I mentioned I had had a tough summer, but didn't go into any details. At the end of our meeting, all the girls left except Amanda. She stayed and honestly wanted to know about my experiences of the summer. I can't think of too many things more cool than a genuinely caring heart like Amanda's. "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. (I John 4:7)

Well, there it is. My top 8 cool things; probably different from most lists, but hopefully what's cool for me today will not go out of style.

Live Big,

Tick Tock, You Just Can't Stop The Clock

I saw this quote a couple days back and while it's a bit of a mind bender, it's true. Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires. ~Charles Caleb Colton.

I've had a lot of thoughts about time in my head lately. I've been organizing pictures trying to make order of them. So many memories contained in a little square I can hold in my hand.

The change of the seasons reminds me of the tick-tock of time. The last time I had a conversation with my dad was May 21, spring was well on its way. Then he told me about his cancer diagnosis on the phone the first part of June and June 18, he suffered the blood clots, just as we were starting summer. He passed away on July 1 with the funeral on July 6, the 4th of July holiday sandwiched in between - the height of the summer season. Now it's fall, the weather is starting to feel different, football season is well on its way. Sometimes I want to put my hands over my ears and scream "CAN IT ALL STOP FOR JUST A MINUTE?" Each season change feels like it takes me one more step away from my life with my dad.

Last Sunday, we started a new theme in church about time, which just makes me smile because so often I have something in my head and then God gives me more opportunities to gain new insights into something.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children's children. (Psalm 103:14-6) (Once again lessons from the hillside. The wildflowers flourish for a time, but soon they will be gone.)

One of Jay's points was "Delight shows up in time usage." I like that. He also said "There are more negative journeys than positive ones." Postive choices are intentional. So it has to be my goal to make live a certain way of life, who can I bless today? My time can be spent finding delight in God.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or site in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

In "Fiddler on the Roof" as Tevye is thinking about his daughters' desire to marry men they have chosen, he sees them from a distance and sort of fuzzy. So still looking back over my shoulder to look at my dad, it feels like he is standing still while time keeps me moving forward. No, I can't stop time, fall will turn to winter, and winter once again to spring, but like my dad, my desire is to intentially spend my time living "The God Way of Life."

Love God, Love Others,

More Lessons From The Hillside

I love Isaiah 40:11: "He tends his flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart, he gently leads those that have young."

Through His Word, we have God's promise that when we experience something painful, he will take care of us, He will provide comfort and I love it that we don't always know the form that comfort will take. I have written about my wildflower hillside before and that is where I received my comfort this summer. I didn't even care for gardening and knew next to nothing about plants until about a year and a half ago. Then suddenly the business of landscaping became something I wanted to learn more about and, oh, boy, but I have learned a lot. My wildflower hillside started out as sort of a fun project and it became my place of peace and joy, rest and contentment; all the things God promises when our world is shaken. And God continues to teach me almost every time I am out there. These are the things He taught me yesterday as I was weeding and watering:

1. Patience. In May, when the world around me was turning green, there was not much happening on the hillside. At the time, I didn't know that wildflowers bloom from July to October. So in May and June, when I saw very little activity out there, I decided to "jump start" things. I went to the greenhouses and bought a bunch of plants and put them out on the hillside; I got cuts from friends that immediately went out there. Then as the wildflower seeds began to grow and bloom, they were practically on top of the things that I had planted. So now I probably should go out there and dig up some things and put them in a new garden I have planned which is more work for me and probably stress on the plants. It's the same way with us and God. Too often we want to "jump start" God's plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." What a promise, plans to give us hope and a future. I spent days in the hospital waiting for things to get better for my dad, but instead God gave me hope and the reassurance that I will see my dad again in the future.

2. Protection. I have been bitten by bugs from head to toe this summer and the thing is, I don't feel anything biting me until the next day when I am covered with itchy welts. And they do not discriminate on where they bite you. I have a bottle of "OFF" right on my deck, but I'm always in such a hurry to get out to the hillside I forget to give myself a good spray and then suffer the consequences. In life, the Bible and prayer are my protection. They are my weapons against things seen and unseen. Ephesians 6:13-18 tells us about the full armor of God. "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. (Eph. 6:10).

3. Getting to the root of the issue. That crown vetch we had out there is some tough stuff. Part of the problem is because it has rhizomes, which isn't something I knew much about before this summer. Rhizomes are root systems that spread all over the place. It sort of reminds me of a subway, tunnels going all over the place and you don't even realize it's going on right underneath you. Because of the rhizomes, it's very hard to get the entire root system out. Dandelions aren't rhizomes, but they have very long roots and rarely can I pull the whole thing out. It has to be very muddy to have much success at all. I can see the plants where I was unable to remove the entire root system. There is about half a plant, they still have a little bit of green leaf and they are most definitely alive, but they don't look like a normal plant. Ephesians 4:26-27: "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." In other words, don't sweep things under the rug. If there's a problem with someone get to the root of the problem and do your best to work it out. When we have issues going on, we can still live, we can still have a more or less normal-looking life, but it isn't whole, parts are missing.

4. Identification. I have a lot of this plant on my hillside. I waited and waited for it to do something, get some sort of flower buds and it never did. So I cut off a leaf and brought it to an expert and learned, that, yes, it is a weed and I have to remove it. While I don't think it's a hideous looking plant, it's not what belongs out there and it's getting in the way of other plants being able to flourish and be all they can be. It's like my life, there are things that I do that aren't bad, I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not breaking any laws, but are they the best use of my time or are they getting in the way of letting me grow to be all I can be? Could I make better use of the time I spend on those activities? I believe it's important to identify those things in my life that keep me from growing, from learning, from being the person God intended for me to be. 2 Thessalonians 1:11: With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith." Summer is coming to a close, my hillside will no longer require my attention; I am right now trying to identify ways to continue to be as teachable as I am out there.

I am so grateful for the lessons I've learned this summer; I'm so grateful for the peace and comfort God provided in a way I never would have guessed. My prayer for me, and all who read this, is that we would all be open to God's lessons, to have patience with His plans for us, to build up the body of Christ through our relationships and to do all we can to bring Him Glory.

Don't. Stop. Believin' .....

Let's Take a Closer Look

As I looked at the pictures of my hillside, I realized I was not really doing it justice so I took my little camera out there with me tonight and got a little closer to see a little better what I actually have out there. So let's get up close and personal.


















I found these little beauties hiding under a much bigger plant.

I did learn tonight that some of the pests I have been seeing will just have to stay there, no pesticides. The first frost probably isn't too far away and that will be the end of those little guys.

And good riddance I say,

My Project

Well, here are some pictures of the place I have spent many, many hours this summer. It really is hard to capture how it looks in a picture, but maybe this gives a glimpse In the picture on the top, I am standing right on the hillside looking towards the northwest and in the second one, I'm on top of the hillside. I am noticing things starting to die back the last few days and last night I spent the evening cutting off dead blooms and cutting plants back and continuing to pull out crown vetch. When I look around though, I am seeing fewer and fewer weeds so I believe I may be winning the battle. I have noticed a new problem, however. On several of the plants are little pest-like creatures. Being so new at this, I don't know if they are just a natural part of the whole prairie project or if they are destroyers. The plants they are on do not look like having those little pest guys on them is healthy. So despite my reading on not using pesticides in a garden attempting to attract butterflies, I did sprinkle some Sevin on one of the plants where I noted an abundance of little worm-like creatures on gray leaves. It just didn't look like they were doing the plant any sort of good at all. I think the answer to this problem is to get more birds in the garden as I believe they help control all that naturally. At the beginning of the summer, there were many birds in the yard, lately I have not seen as many. Whether that is because of the season or because I couldn't keep up with filling the bird feeders this summer and they found other food sources, I don't know. However, the next plan is to start working on some bird feeding stations, probably get that started already this fall and winter. It will be fun tromping out there through the snow and battling the winds that can make your face hurt. Perhaps we will even have a blizzard where I have to attach a rope to the house so as not to lose my way back. I think that would be very fun. Yet, even as I start thinking about the seasons changing and see some plants dying down for the winter, there are still many plants with new blooms still waiting to pop open so I would say we are about a month away from mowing it all down.

Mark is also building me a for-real clothesline with poles and cement in the ground and I'm pretty excited about that. I'm starting to feel like I'm living "Little House on the Prairie and couldn't feel more joy and contentment with that.

Planting and Weeding, Weeding and Planting,

Sometimes God Whispers, Sometimes He Shouts

Dena and I met for prayer last night after a summer of sporadically meeting. Our prayer time has become such a comfortable, easy, blessed time of assurance that the pressure of "needing" to meet every single week is no longer an issue. We know we will pick it up as soon as we are both available and God is already there waiting for us.

Last night as we were catching up with each other's lives for the past few weeks, we agreed that this summer we had both experienced life altering events. Dena compared these events to the first time you get glasses or after you've had glasses for a while and you get new ones. Suddenly the world has a little sharper focus, colors are brighter, you can see bark on the trees. That's how our life altering events have been and now we can see the hand of God a little more clearly. Dena's event involved birth, mine involved death. Which may seem unfair or sad for me, but if we have placed our trust in God, then our response to these events has to be I will continue to trust You and "thy will be done."

Dena and Greg have their first grandchild, Ash. Dena sees the miracle of life, of birth, how each person is created by God. Their family has changed, they have a new normal with the joyous addition of Ash. To say that Dena is entralled, completely enraptured, head over heels over Ash doesn't really give justice to how much she loves this baby. Love oozes out of her as she talks about him and about her daughter, Emily.

I lost my dad. I see how precious life is, how fragile life can be. Our family has changed too, we have a new normal with the loss of my dad, but this change will never feel normal. However, I have been shown how a person can live a quiet life and watch for opportunities to make a difference in someone's life and make use of that opportunity. My mom and dad had the privilege of getting to know a family who are very good friends with Barb. Their daughter got married a few weeks ago and my mom, along with Nicki, went up to Minneapolis for the wedding. The young bride and her husband mentioned in their wedding program, the memory of people who had passed away who had meaning in their life and they included my dad. My mom was so honored that they did this. They, in turn, took the opportunity to return the blessings my mom and dad had given them. It encourages me to watch for those chances. I can be the rock that gets thrown in the water and causes the ripples. I don't have to be famous or have a whole bunch of money to cause a ripple.

I am reminded to take the life altering events God sends me and learn from them and be thankful for the lessons. The ones that bring joy and the ones that bring sorrow.

Continuing to Praise,

My Sanctuary

In the back of our house is a hillside that is a too steep to mow so when we moved here we planted something called crown vetch. It's a fast growing plant (that I now call a nasty weed) that covered the hillside. And then for the next many years, we faithfully ignored it. More and more weeds made their home on my hillside such that a little more than a year ago, I was calling it my weedside and decided a change needed to be made.

I had read in the paper that the plants that used to cover Iowa were hardly able to be found anymore and I thought it would be a good idea to plant Iowa natives and wildflowers on my hillside. I asked around at nearly every greenhouse I visited, I contacted the County Conservation people, I researched on where to find these plants and surprisingly it was difficult to find anyone with a lot of knowledge about this. Finally, I was talking to the greenhouse lady at the Woodsmith Store and she told me about someone who could perhaps help me and where he worked. I contacted him and truthfully he wasn't a whole lot of help either, but I hit the jackpot with the place he worked. Des Moines Forage and Turf is where I found the answer to my hillside. They told me they don't usually work with inviduals, they do more work for corporations, farmers, golf courses, much bigger places than my hillside, but they had bags of seed called "Color Iowa Wild" that they would sell me. These are not like the little packs of seeds you buy at the home improvement stores or even the greenhouses. Those have about 2% seeds and 98% filler. Read the label, it's true. The seeds I got from Des Moines Forage and Turf were pure seed. Since we were a little late in the season for this, I got one bag and after mowing and Round Upping, we planted last September. Then this spring, we planted another bag. I didn't know what to expect. I thought maybe we would have a couple flowers, but it turned out to be fantastic. The Round Up didn't work as well as we had hoped on the vetch so I'm weeding that and some other nasty stuff, but there is more out there than I imagined for our first year. While there is a lot of beauty out there, there are still quite a number of weeds and it's been a lot of work; I spend anywhere from 1-3 hours out there every day that I'm home. I have such plans for that hillside. I want to add bird feeders, bird houses and bird baths. I even learned how to make a butterfly bath with a dish, sand and stones. I want it to be a haven for winged creatures. I see bees out there and I enthusiastically exhort them to go forth and pollinate. While my hillside has been a lot of work, it's also been my sanctuary this summer.

This is where I go to pray, to think, to reflect, to ponder, to remember, to praise. As I weed, I see so much evidence of God's handiwork in nature. Little bitty toads are quite common and one morning one hopped on my foot. I thought it was a chunk of dirt until it hopped away. There was also the night, just as day was ending and the sun about to set, that I saw a deer about 1oo yards away from me. He watched me for a while and I watched him, then I went to the house and he jumped over the fence and away he went. Mark tells me there are probably snakes out there, but so far I have not seen a single one and I'm very thankful for that. Toads are reptilian enough, snakes would make it a bit less of a sanctuary.

The hillside is where God gave me the words for my dad's service long before I even knew he would get sick, which at the time was a bit puzzling and sort of uncomfortable, but now I understand why those came. I needed time to be prepared. As I was pulling weeds, after learning about my dad's probable cancer, the thought came that this could all go fast. A few hours later he went into the hospital with massive lung clots and a few hours after that suffered the stroke. I wish now I had left the hillside at that moment and gone in the house and called my dad. But, while I thought "fast", I expected weeks or months, not hours. A reminder to write that letter, make that phone call or send that e-mail immediately, don't wait. Fast can be faster than we think.

I was out on my hillside the morning Mark came to tell me that while we were in Ohio, Capi's brother had called and left a message saying Capi had lost her battle with cancer and her suffering was over. Shortly after Mark left, a hummingbird came and hovered next to me for a few seconds before flying off. I love hummingbirds and hadn't seen very many of them this year.

Over a year ago in the spring and summer when I started thinking about what to do with my hillside I didn't know I would need a sanctuary. I just wanted to improve my landscaping. But God knew I would need a place where I would see Him, where I could talk with Him and know He heard me. I believe the thoughts, the hummingbird, the deer, the toads, the success and beauty of the wildflowers are all gifts from Him. We took 2 bags of pretty plain looking seeds, spread them on a weedy hillside and with that, God created a miracle.

Still Grateful

It's been a tough summer. On July 1, my dad passed away. He was so precious and dear to me and truthfully, I just want him back. Then about two weeks after my dad left us, a friend from college who had battled breast cancer for six years, also went to her eternal home. So it's time to write that God is still good and my thankful heart.

I am thankful for God's hedge of protection as I traveled back and forth to Wisconsin this summer. I am thankful for the example my dad was to me on how to live a faith-filled life. I'm thankful that my dad's service was filled with hope and reassurance. I'm thankful for the sound of Katie's voice as she gives Noah his trumpet lesson. I am thankful that Jeff could fix my speedometer and take care of my car at a fraction of the cost I would have had to pay otherwise. I am thankful for the outpouring of support from the people in the Sheboygan Falls/Oostburg/Himgham/ Cedar Grove area. I'm thankful for Barb's gift of playing the piano and how she poured herself into her music at the service for my dad. I'm thankful for my wildflower hillside project, a place to think, pray and reflect. I'm thankful for the little hummingbird who stopped next to me for a few seconds shortly after Mark told me that Capi had lost her battle with breast cancer. I'm thankful for a day browsing in the fun little shops of Cedarburg with my mom. I'm thankful for Caan's and Culver's greenhouses. I'm thankful that I discovered journals by Marva Sheriff. I'm thankful for the Christian marriage of Zach and Christina. I'm thankful that while life ends for some, we have new life to look forward to with the birth of Ruth Vinson and waiting for the birth of Emily, Sarah and Jennifer's babies. I'm thankful for Rachel G's writing and her heart. I'm thankful dad was able to be at home for the last days of his life. I'm thankful for the support of friends who drive to Wisconsin from Iowa and for the support of friends who stayed in Iowa and took care of our cats and dog and mail. I'm thankful for family summer birthday parties. I'm thankful for time with Cindy, although never enough time. I'm thankful for pictures from Tara. I'm thankful for wonderful spaghetti from Maggiono's. I'm thankful for the mother-daughter banquet in Sheboygan Falls last May when, although I did not know it at the time, gave me one more opportunity to see my dad. I'm thankful for Tyler's summer in Sicily and the work he is doing there. I am thankful for Rachel's summer in Mississippi and the work she did there. I am thankful that Carissa was home this summer and she was able to find jobs. I'm thankful for a fun day shopping with her in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. I'm thankful for safety for Carson as he flew to NYC and back. I'm thankful for fun weekend in Ohio and I'm even thankful for roller coasters. I'm thankful for family and friends. I'm thankful for hope. I'm thankful that I have been redeemed.

It's Only A Moment, But So Much More

In a recent devotional, Dena wrote about a devotion she had read by Max Lucado; entitled, "Eternal Instants" Max writes:

An eternal instant. A moment that reminds you of the treasures surrounding you. Your home. Your peace of mind. Your health. A moment that tenderly rebukes you for spending so much time on temporal preoccupations such as savings accounts, houses, and punctuality. A moment that can bring a mist to the manliest of eyes and perspective to the darkest life.

Dena then listed some eternal instances in her life. To read more of this devotional by Max Lucado and Dena's eternal instances, click here. But I started thinking about the eternal instances in my life and created my own list. Here are mine:

1. Getting up at 4 a.m. to watch the sun rise over Lake Michigan.

2. Meeting my mom and dad in St. Paul, Mn. to watch Carson run for approximately 1 minute in the 4 x 4 relay for Westside Track Club.

3. My Dad's prayer at Cody and Elizabeth's wedding.

4. Meeting Mark's parents for the first time when they gave me a 16 oz. bottle of Coke and I didn't think I could drink it all.

5. Going up north to the cottage with Bill and Edie's family every summer.

6. Carissa as Cinderella her senior year of high school.

7. My kids all having a part in Gerri's wedding.

8. Closing Barb in the chicken coop at Grandma Van Wyk's and in my best Wicked Witch of the West voice, telling her she was "in there for ever."

9. Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa VanWyk's house and ham sandwiches.

10. Sunday afternoons at Grandma and Grandpa Brasser's house.

11. Watching Cody play basketball at the state tournament. In fact, having the opportunity to watch that group of boys play basketball.

12. Praying with Dena.

13. Coffee with Monica.

14. Visits with friends.

15. Brenda and I going to Minneapolis a couple years ago to see Barb.

16. Watching Mark play basketball for Northwestern.

17. Popcorn parties on 3rd East of Fern Smith Hall.

18. Family vacation to Colorado in 1974 and 2005.

19. Dale performing the dog chow commercial all the way to Colorado in 1974.

20. Skating, sledding and camping back by the river.

21. Eating my mom's birthday cakes - the chocolate kind and the gooey kind.

22. Summer Birthday parties with Mark's family.

23. Christmas programs.

24. Going to the Upper Penninsula with mom and dad in 1981 (pregnant with Cody at the time).

25. My mom making me a new Christmas dress every year.

26. Sitting in Sunday night church with the other high school girls and laughing so hard the bench shook.

27. Grandma Brasser trying to peek at her Christmas present before it was her turn to open it.

28. Trips to Bay Beach.

29. Cody's laughter as he reads the jokes in the Readers Digest.

30. Cindy's kindergarten stories.

31. Going to Pine Haven Men's Chorus concerts and seeing my dad sing.

32. Calves pulling on Grandma VanWyk's dress as she fed them.

33. Grandma and Grandpa Brasser's beautiful house.

34. Cody telling all the nurses at the hospital about his new baby brother named Carson.

35. Carson running around the hospital room and climbing on everything when Carissa was born (he didn't come back to the hospital).

36. Cheering Elizabeth and Cody at the Chicago marathon.

37. Carissa as a flower girl 4 times.

38. Iowa Football games.

30. Working on my wildflower hillside.

40. Feeling God's presence at my dad's funeral service.

This is just a fraction of the eternal instances God has given me. If you read this, try to make up your own list, in your head or write them down. It's good to remember.

I Wish I Was 10 Again

Around the end of May, I started thinking about Father's Day and appropriate gifts for Mark and our dads. I came up with a perfect gift for Mark and his dad, but I was struggling a bit with what to get my dad. That's when I thought, if only I was 10 again. When I was 10, I could glue some macaroni on a tin can or some glitter on a jar and my dad loved it. When you're grown up, though, those kinds of gifts don't really have the same meaning. But as I worked through this in my mind, I started thinking back to the time when I was ten.

I was 10 in 1965. John F. Kennedy had been assasinated, Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King would be in a few short years. We had yet to see evil in human form as the face of Charles Manson. It was the 60's, unrest, hippies and protests were beginning to dominate the news. But in Sheboygan Falls, that all seemed pretty far away. Summer stretched endlessly before us, each day a sunny day spent in play and fun. Riding my bike to swimming lessons as semi trucks whizzed by me on the highway. Of course without a helmet. Occasionally a summer storm would come through and we would scurry into our homes and I would watch it from the back door until the sun came back out giving the world a sparkle. I don't know if it was the summer of "65, but there was the summer day when our neighbor cat birthed her kittens under the slide connected to our swing set. I can see my mom hanging clothes out on the line and stopping to talk with Nellie VanderWeele, our neighbor lady. We watched for my dad to come home from work at Richardson Brothers furniture factory. Everyday he was picked up by Tres Bloemers who picked up several others who all worked in the same factory. Carpooling before anyone had even heard of carpooling. He would get dropped off at the end of our driveway covered in a thin layer of dust, carrying his lunch bucket. I believe he had nearly the same lunch every day. Sometimes my dad had picked up a candy bar for us on his way out of work and what a special treat that was. After work there was yard work to be done and picking in the garden whatever was currently ripe. Summer nights were filled with a hot steamy kitchen and the sound of the pressure cooker as my mom canned green beans. We picked the strawberries and my dad always reminded us to "pick them clean." I can still hear him telling me that whenever I do any sort of garden work. Towards the end of summer, mom would go out to Grandma Brasser where they had a big apple tree and make applesauce. You can't use just any kind of apple for the applesauce, it must be transparency apples. Those are still the apples I use now when I make applesauce.

1965 was the first year Cinderella was shown with Lesley Anne Warren and it became an annual tradition for me to watch every year. I loved Lesley Anne Warren and thought it was so awesome that she and the prince rode horses when they were married. Tuesday nights were special because we could stay up until 9 because Petticoat Junction didn't start until 8:30. I thought Audra from the Big Valley had a wonderful life. All those brothers saving the ranch and their town from all sorts of mischief makers while Audra stayed home wearing beautiful gowns and worried about her brothers. Saturday night was a big night. Quite often my mom would make popcorn and we would each have a glass of RC Cola. Lawrence Welk was the highlight and my mom would always ask one of us to run and get her glasses on the dresser in her bedroom so she could see better. The Lennon Sisters and Bobby and his current dancing partners were the acts I enjoyed the most. Then at 9, it was time for Gunsmoke, my dad's favorite show. But by that time, the spoolies were in my hair and tightly wrapped, bath taken and it was time for bed because there was church in the morning. My mom slept with rollers in her hair and I'm not sure if your head got incredibly hard and you no longer felt them or anything for that matter on your head or what happened that you could sleep with those things in your hair, but she did.

Every September was the Miss America pageant, which was "must-see TV" in our house and 1965 was the year Vonda Kay VanDyke won the crown. Bert Parks was the emcee and he asked her if she carried her Bible as a "good luck charm." She told him her Bible was most certainly not a good luck charm and went on to profess her faith. And she became Miss America. How sad that now a young woman professes her belief and she is ridiculed and ultimately loses her crown.

Thinking about being 10 again is a wistful feeling. I had all four grandparents who loved us and were very involved in our lives. Death had not touched my world at all yet. We had a neighborhood full of kids to do kid stuff with. It amost seems an idyllic sort of life and it's good to look back and appreciate the blessings that went along with being 10.

Tribute to my Dad

On July 1, 2009, my dad left his earthly home and entered into his eternal home. On July 6, 2009, I gave this tribute as part of my dad's service.

About a week and a half ago, a friend asked me what was the best gift my dad ever gave me, and I asked do you mean like something I could hold in my hand, something tangible? And she said yes. The first thought that popped into my head was a toboggan dad and mom gave my brothers and me one Christmas. We tripped over it all night checking the time in anticipation of Christmas morning and what delight when we saw it. We would haul that toboggan back by the river or to the hill by the campfire girl house, load it with about 4 or 5 kids and fly down the hill, as I recall after all these years, at about the speed of light.

That toboggan brought us a lot of fun, but the very, very best gift my dad gave me isn’t something I can hold in my hand. Psalm 145 verse 4 says “Parents will tell their children what you have done. They will retell your mighty acts.” Growing up with my dad, I learned what it means to live life well. My dad showed me how to be a servant. He taught me how it looks to serve your family and friends. He showed me how you honor your parents, siblings, in-laws, spouse and children. I saw a man who was truly the spiritual head of the household. He also taught me the importance of serving the people God puts in our lives. And while we don’t always want to serve; it is through that service I learned about obedience.

Dad taught me about relationships. When Grandma Van Wyk was still with us, he loved to stop by her house on a Saturday morning and just sit and visit. In more recent years, he has done the same with Nicki. A piece of cake and a cup of coffee make the visit even sweeter. I recall visiting my Grandma and Grandpa Brasser on Sunday afternoons. Dad and Grandpa would stand and talk as they pushed us on the swing.

He was so honored and humbled when Mike Buehler asked if they could meet together. He didn’t think he had much to offer; I think we know he did. I could try to name the people he enjoyed spending time with, but I run the risk of omitting someone. You know who you are and spending time with you, going out to eat, playing games or just visiting were things that gave him joy.

My kids always told me whenever they went anywhere with Grandma and Grandpa, they always came across someone they knew and had to stop and talk for a while. Whenever mom and dad went to an event, they were always the last ones to leave, still visiting, as the lights were turned out and the person in charge waited for them before locking the door.
He took such pride in the courage of his parents leaving their home in Holland and beginning a new life in the United States, learning a new language and bringing up their family in a whole new world. He loved my mom and their 55-year marriage is a testament to love, perseverance and honor.

He taught me about faith. Today my heart is so heavy and sometimes a wave of sadness washes over me and I have to stop and say “Breathe, Linda, just breathe.” But under and through that sadness is a fountain, it’s a fountain that bubbles cool, refreshing, living water. I can feel the peace that passes all understanding. This fountain gives me joy despite my sadness and reassures me that my dad is in a place that is more real than anything we think is real. I believe it is more real than the feel of the church bench on your back, more real than the feel of the ground under your feet. I believe what my dad sees is more beautiful, more brilliant than anything we can imagine.

The first weekend my dad became sick, I got up Saturday morning and in my dad’s garden were the most beautiful, brilliant orange lilies in front of absolutely stunning purple irises. When compared to the colors my dad is seeing now, I believe these flowers would look pale and anemic. My dad loved nature, the world God has created. I believe that while God created a stunningly beautiful earth, it pales in comparison to the beauty of heaven.

My dad loved music. It was a joy for him to sing with the Pine Haven Chorus, he loved listening to Barb play the piano, going to musicals and musical programs. I believe the music my dad hears now from the heavenly choir is of such clarity and perfect pitch that we cannot even imagine.

Rev. 7 verse 16 tells us we will never be hungry again, and will never be thirsty again, yet in Matthew 8:11 we learn that "Many people will come from the east and from the west and will sit and eat with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven." And in Luke 22:29-30 it is written that "Just as my Father has given me a kingdom, I also give you a kingdom so you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom. I’ve had some pretty good meals over the years, but I believe in heaven there is a banquet the likes of which we have not tasted.

2 Peter 1 verse 11 says "And you will be given a very great welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." I believe as my dad reached heaven’s gates he was welcomed by his parents, my mom’s parents, Uncle Calvin, Aunt Edie and a host of others who have passed on before him. I believe my dad saw something we were not able to see on earth – the sight of Zachary running to greet him with open arms and laughter bubbling from his lips. I believe someone, perhaps one of my grandmothers, placed Ryan in my dad’s arms, a strong, happy, healthy baby who knows that his grandpa has joined him.

But best of all, I believe my dad is in the very presence of the God he has served so faithfully and God says to him "you have fought a good fight, you have finished the race, and you have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits you – the crown of righteousness."

Living life well means accepting the challenges God gives you, trusting Him to help you perform them as well as possible and when you can no longer carry them, you look behind you and there are people there who say “Pass them here, I will take them from you now.” I see in our family a willingness, yes even the desire, to take those tasks from dad and carry them forward. When it was time to take dad out of the hospital, my mom made the decision to care for him at home. I saw her love for him as day by day he slipped away from us. I see Jeff helping Nicki keep her lawnmower in shape. Jeff, Garrett, Noah and Dale taking care of dad’s yard. Cody and Elizabeth driving 10 hours to be at the hospital for less than a day to help interpret “doctor talk” and spend time with my dad massaging and soothing him. The day we brought my dad back to his house, I mentioned to the rest of the family that the flower beds were a bit weedy. The thistles out there were particularly irritating to me. Shortly afterwards, I look out and see Carson out in the flower bed with the thistle sticker, pretty soon Shari joins him, then Mark, Dale, Carissa, even Noah and Brianna are all out there cleaning up the flower bed. Shari brings our meal one night and Nancy brings a meal another night. Then right after we’re finished eating there goes Jeff to clean up the sump pump. I don’t even want to know what’s involved with cleaning up a sump pump. When I came back to Iowa last Tuesday, Carissa gave me the gift of her time so there was someone in the car with me. Katie and Garrett took time out of their day to watch Brianna as a munchkin in the Sheboygan Falls Elementary School production of “The Wizard of Oz.” Yes, dad has taught all of us about service, relationships and faith.

What an honor, what a privilege that God chose this man to be my dad. And now I have to wonder ... how does a girl live without her dad? I’m not sure, I’ve never had to do this before. My heart spills over with gratitude of how my dad was an example of living life well. And now…. dad can look behind him and see hands ready to take from him the work he has been so faithful to perform. Praise God for the life of my dad. Praise God.

The Times They Have A'Changed

When I was 9 or 10 years old, missionaries that our church supported would visit and instead of our usual Sunday School class, we would have a presentation on their work. There would be rows of chairs set up in the basement of the church with what I would call a fairly respectable crowd of people. They would turn down the lights and the missionaries would show slides and talk about their work in whatever country they were currently serving. In my memory, the missionaries were always women and they looked like missionaries. They would tell us that if God wanted us to go to the far ends of the earth and be missionares, we would hear God calling us. I remember looking at them and watching their slides and my only thought was:

"Please God, please, please, please, I beg you, please do not call me to be a missionary."

And He didn't. At least I never heard it if He did.

What He did give me was a love for hospitals and healthcare in general. When I step into a hospital, I have to stop and take a good look around. I have to deeply breathe in as much of the atmosphere as possible. Not many people feel this way about hospitals and I understand that. Kind of.

So it's not a surprise that for some time now, ok years, I have had a strong desire to have more hands-on skills to work directly with sick people. I was talking with Monica about thoughts that would not go away about going on medical mission trips and to actually be able to contribute and she told me a medical assistant certification would be enough to do those kinds of things. So, with a minimum of research, I learned there's a school about 5 miles from my house with a medical assistant program and I can be finished in a little over a year. I think a year goes by in the blink of an eye. I can do that. So with more than a little bit of trepidation, I am now a student again. I started last Friday and we'll see how it all goes.

So I definitely feel like the joke is on me. Am I going to be a missionary? I suppose I will be. Will I go to the far ends of the earth and serve people living in conditions I can't even imagine? I hope so. Will I serve people right here in my little corner of the world who are suffering and have lost all hope? I hope so. Will I serve people without health insurance or access to care who need the help of free clinics? I hope so. Can I see suffering and keep it from effecting me? I hope not.

Never say never.


This Thankful Heart
1. Dena and Monica who listen to me, help me grow and are always my cheerleaders and encouragers.
2. Dinner last night with Greg and Dena.
3. Church services.
4. Garrett getting close to coming back home.
5. Silly movies after a less than perfect day.
6. Mom, dad and Carson here for my birthday.
7. Carson and Carissa here for Easter.
8. Easter brunch with the Aunan family.
9. Tea parties.

Supplication
1. Continued healing for Tate.
2. Mark, Cody, Elizabeth, Cody, Carson and Carissa.
3. Being a student.

Dena's Devotional

This was one of Dena's devotionals this week that I liked a lot.

The other night, Greg and I went out to dinner with friends. The bill came and Greg noticed that they hadn't charged us for my raspberry ice tea; so he pointed it out to our waiter, who asked, "Would you like me to change that, sir?" Of course, Greg said, yes. It's not the first time I've seen Greg act in an honest way. I believe that his parents raised him to be that way and as a follower of Jesus, he chooses to be honest. For several years, Greg went to Promise Keepers. It's is a "Christ-centered organization dedicated to introducing men to Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord, and then helping them to grow as Christians" If you go to their website, it reads: "Promise Keepers: Men of Integrity"

I know we are supposed to have integrity, but what exactly is it? Noah Webster says, "The entire, unimpaired state of any thing, particularly of the mind; moral soundness or purity; incorruptness; uprightness; honesty. Integrity comprehends the whole moral character, but has a special reference to uprightness in mutual dealings, transfers of property,and agencies for others" Another dictionary gives this definition:"adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty"

So, if a person has integrity, they are moral, pure, honest, ethical. What does the Bible say about integrity?

**"Do not use dishonest standards when measuring length, weight, or volume. Your scales and weights must be accurate. Your containers for measuring dry goods or liquids must be accurate" ~Leviticus 19:35-36

**"The Lord demands fairness in every business deal; He sets the standard. A king despises wrongdoing, for His rule depends on His justice.The king is pleased with righteous lips;He loves those who speak honestly"~Proverbs 16:11-13

**"Good people are guided by their honesty; treacherous people are destroyed by their dishonesty" ~Proverbs 11:3

**"It is better to be poor and honest than rich and crooked" ~Proverbs 28:6

**"I know, my God, that You examine our hearts and rejoice when You find integrity there" ~1 Chronicles 29:17

**"Then the Lord asked satan, "Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth – a man of complete integrity. He fears God and will have nothing to do with evil. And he has maintained his integrity, even though you persuaded me to harm him without cause."

**"In my integrity You uphold me and set me in Your presence forever" ~Psalm 41:12

** "And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good deeds of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching"~Titus 2:7

Who do you know that you would describe as being a person of integrity? What is it about them that sets them apart? How do you feel when someone you know professes to be a follower of Christ, and they act in ways that are dishonest, unfair, immoral or unethical? At some time or another, each of us will let someone else down. We will disappoint others. I think that's why we need to be aware of our actions and choose to be people of integrity. Every time we have to make a decision, we get to choose to be honoring to God and to others.

"Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do"

“If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well" ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you" ~H. Jackson Brown

"I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day" ~Abraham Lincoln

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that's right is to get by, and the only thing that's wrong is to get caught" ~J.C. Watts

“You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them" ~Malcolm S. Forbes

"Integrity is doing the right thing--even if nobody is watching"

To read more from Dena, go here Dena's Devotionals

What To Think

Last Friday, the Iowa Supreme Court ruled that gay and lesbian couples could legally marry. First thoughts are outrage, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, anger at how just a couple men who happen to be judges could make a decision that I have to live with, etc. Then I went to church Saturday night at Hope and Pastor Mike addressed this issue in a way that gave me a better understanding of how I am to think about this. This comes during Easter week and Jesus absolutely positively had the power to take over the church and government. He could have stopped his crucifixion. That was not His kingdom, his goal or His plan. Here is what I gleaned from Pastor Mike's words:

1. Jesus wants His followers to love everybody. Gay marriage is not the great cause of our day nor is it the mission of the church, in fact, it is a distraction to the mission of the church. The mission of the church is waaaaay bigger. Matthew 22:37-40: Jesus replied, "You must love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all the demands of the prohets are based on these two commandments." Pastor Mike told us that if we can't speak respectfully and with love, to quit talking. When we have hate over issues, we lose our moral center and mission. Jesus is much bigger than a law.

2. We are all sinners who need God's grace. Romans 3:23: For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Romans 5:16: And the result of God's gracious gift is very different from the result of of that one man's sin. For Adam's sin led to condemnation, but God's free give leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins. I need as much grace as people who disagree with me.

3. God's intent was for marriage to be between a man and woman. Marriage was established in Genesis and is repeated throughout the Bible. Mark 10, Matthew 19, Ephesians 5. This is a timeless law and God's laws don't change regardless of what politicians, judges or polls say. His Word stays the same. God wants His word and teaching on marriage to go out,

Pastor Mike told us the church doesn't follow the culture. He asked if we dance with God, who leads? We are to be the followers not the leaders. Remember our mission, what kingdom we are working for. Our mission is about salvation and Jesus, hearing the Good News and sharing that Good News. God's love poured out for me and for you is the central story of our faith.

Speak in love,


To hear the entire sermon go to: Lutheran Church of Hope - The King Is Coming

Welcome Back Old Friend

I have rediscovered a lifelong friend. The Library! I am finding out that paying $20 or more for a book and then even if I resell it at the Half Price Bookstore, I make about 25 cents. And as I continue with my cleaning frenzy (actually frenzy might be a little too strong of a word, but no matter), I am discovering books I completely forgot I had. Since, unlike Carissa I have rarely, if ever, read a book twice, it doesn't seem fiscally responsible to buy books in these trying economic times. So I stopped by the Waukee Library and checked out a couple books. They even have movies. I got "An Affair to Remember" and "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." You can keep them for a week. For free. And I could even renew them because I didn't get both watched yet. With no fees.

Another very cool thing about living in the Des Moines area is I do not have just one library. Yesterday I stopped in the West Des Moines library and they had 5 times as many books by a particular author than the Waukee library. Dena loves the Urbandale library so I am going to get a card there. The Des Moines library is just a few years old and it's on the west side of downtown so oh so easy to get to. There is a little park nearby and I think there are plans for a sculpture garden so how pleasant could that be to go down there on a summer day with a good book and read amidst the sculptures.

Another thing I noticed when I was in the West Des Moines Library is that they have a little cafe and a coffee shop! Be still my wildly beating heart. I will have to check, but I think the Urbandale library might have the same thing. I have suggested to the Waukee library people in charge the very same thing, but so far there is no coffee shop. I have to think it would be a gold mine. I would help them out.

So, as that wise old sage, Arthur the Ardvark once said:

"Having fun isn't hard, when you have a library card."

So welcome back old friend, I will be visiting often.

Keep reading.


Thankful for today:
1. Warmer weather!!
2. Dinner last night with Denise.
3. Libraries.

I Am Praying For:
1. Tate.
2. My D-group.
3. Mark, Cody, Elizabeth, Carson and Carissa.

Can't Insult Me

A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

There's a commercial I see frequently that always makes me smile. It's for MasterCard with Peyton Manning, the quarterback for the Indianopolis Colts. In the first scene, Peyton is waiting for the elevator in a hotel in New England with the bellhop. The bellhop tells Peyton "You're going down Manning" to which Peyton replies "Yep, 4th floor, going to get a massage, I'm excited." The next scene Peyton is in Cleveland and room service brings him a fruit basket telling him "Don't choke on it" and Peyton says "Good call, I'll cut it up and make a fruit salad." The final scene Peyton comes onto his balcony at his hotel in San Diego and says good morning to the maid cleaning on the next balcony to which she tells him "take a hike." Peyton tells her he's "going to do that, the weather here is sweet."

A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

I found this little prayer many, many years ago. I liked it then, I like it now.

Prayer of an Optimist by Jerry Spinelli
I saw a worm with an apple around it;
The tiniest speck of a bug flew into my eye, but I got it out before it drowned;
I flipped a coin and called heads - it came up tails -
Flipped it again and called tails - it came up heads -
Sure glad I'm not a coin, having to be wrong all the time;
I reached into a rosebush for a ball and got nicked by a thorn near the loveliest rose I've ever seen -
I wonder how long that proud bush had been trying to get my attention;
My tire went flat, so was my spare - I walked - I may never ride again;
For the fifteen thousand one hundred and first day in a row, I breathed approximately
twenty-six thousand times - That's - get this Westinghouse - nearly four hundred million without a failure!
And another Partly Sunny day tomorrow?
You're going to spoil me yet.

The next time I'm driving down I-235 and the car next to me honks and waves at me with their middle finger in the air, I'm going to smile widely and wave with my whole hand. Some people are so friendly.


Thanksgiving
1. Church and dinner with Dena and Greg last week.
2. The people in my small group.
3. The ladies in my Women of the Word group.
4. E-mails and text messages from Cody, Elizabeth, Carson and Carissa.
5. Phone calls from Rachel and Betty.
6. Hearing from a couple girls who graduated from Waukee a while back.

I Am Praying For
1. Tate.
2. Barack Obama and the leaders of our country.
3. The United States of America.
4. My D-group.
5. People who have lost jobs.

It's A New Year, So It Must Be Time For Resolutions

I'm hearing a lot these days about New Year's Resolutions. Certainly not a new phenomenon, but the topic you hear every single year at this time. The most popular seem to be to lose weight, eat better, stop smoking, start saving more money, etc. I don't really do resolutions because it feels like a setup for failure. I'm not going to go from eating Hostess cupcakes today to grapefruit tomorrow. Just ain't gonna happen sister. However, I do like to evaluate my life and see if I'm on the right track so to speak. So here I go.

Eating. My body is a "temple of God" so pouring donuts and Diet Pepsi into it probably isn't honoring my body as a temple. So I should eat better. There is always room for improvement there. And truthfully I have been eating better. Maybe not the five vegetables and fruits per day as recommended, but quite frankly if I get any in a day, I let myself feel pretty good about me.

Exercise. I actually don't mind exercising. Today at negative whatever below zero kept me from my hangout at Anytime Fitness, but I can be fairly regular. Of course, the challenge is not getting there, but working at a beneficial pace rather than just taking a stroll on the treadmill while watching the Today Show. Because it's so much more fun to just stroll. I try to be aware of how blessed I am that I am able to walk, to move. To dance if I feel like it although not if anyone is watching. Not everyone has that blessing.

Save money. I love to shop. But if a need comes up, I want to be in a position to write a check or give money in that instance. My work hours are Monday through Thursday noon to 5 so that give me a 3-1/2 day weekend every single week. I earn approximately 4 hours per pay period of PTO (paid time off) that I can use for vacation, if I get sick, etc. However, with a 3-1/2 weekend every week, I rarely dip into that PTO time and thus I have accrued quite a bit of time. With our Employee Giving Campaign we could give away PTO hours or if a fellow employee has a need for lots of hours due to illness or a family crisis. So with the number of hours I had built up, I have had the opportunity to give many of those hours away. That's how I visualize the money in my life. Have enough stored up to be able to give it away when I see a need. So, I'm becoming a relentless bargain shopper in all areas of my life and the truth is, the more you give away, the more you have.

To Know God. This is actually #1. When I am right with God and spending time in His Word and prayer, then the other stuff falls into place. I will never completely know God until I am no longer on earth, so it's a goal I won't achieve, but I think the journey is pretty fabulous. Because there are many circumstances where I am surrounded by people who do not know God, being with people who are committed to Him is a blessing I can't begin to describe. So keep strengthening relationships and being focused on knowing Him better is something I truly desire. "Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually."1 Chronicles 16:11

As part of growing closer to God, I want to keep reaching out to people with notes, phone calls, anything that God puts on my heart. It's easy for me to send the note, the hard part is to do this and expect absolutely nothing in return. Too often I expect a thank you or some sort of return. That's what I'm hearing from God right now. Do it in His name and delight in His joy. "... it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me" Galatians 2:20.

Happy 2009.