Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My Sanctuary

In the back of our house is a hillside that is a too steep to mow so when we moved here we planted something called crown vetch. It's a fast growing plant (that I now call a nasty weed) that covered the hillside. And then for the next many years, we faithfully ignored it. More and more weeds made their home on my hillside such that a little more than a year ago, I was calling it my weedside and decided a change needed to be made.

I had read in the paper that the plants that used to cover Iowa were hardly able to be found anymore and I thought it would be a good idea to plant Iowa natives and wildflowers on my hillside. I asked around at nearly every greenhouse I visited, I contacted the County Conservation people, I researched on where to find these plants and surprisingly it was difficult to find anyone with a lot of knowledge about this. Finally, I was talking to the greenhouse lady at the Woodsmith Store and she told me about someone who could perhaps help me and where he worked. I contacted him and truthfully he wasn't a whole lot of help either, but I hit the jackpot with the place he worked. Des Moines Forage and Turf is where I found the answer to my hillside. They told me they don't usually work with inviduals, they do more work for corporations, farmers, golf courses, much bigger places than my hillside, but they had bags of seed called "Color Iowa Wild" that they would sell me. These are not like the little packs of seeds you buy at the home improvement stores or even the greenhouses. Those have about 2% seeds and 98% filler. Read the label, it's true. The seeds I got from Des Moines Forage and Turf were pure seed. Since we were a little late in the season for this, I got one bag and after mowing and Round Upping, we planted last September. Then this spring, we planted another bag. I didn't know what to expect. I thought maybe we would have a couple flowers, but it turned out to be fantastic. The Round Up didn't work as well as we had hoped on the vetch so I'm weeding that and some other nasty stuff, but there is more out there than I imagined for our first year. While there is a lot of beauty out there, there are still quite a number of weeds and it's been a lot of work; I spend anywhere from 1-3 hours out there every day that I'm home. I have such plans for that hillside. I want to add bird feeders, bird houses and bird baths. I even learned how to make a butterfly bath with a dish, sand and stones. I want it to be a haven for winged creatures. I see bees out there and I enthusiastically exhort them to go forth and pollinate. While my hillside has been a lot of work, it's also been my sanctuary this summer.

This is where I go to pray, to think, to reflect, to ponder, to remember, to praise. As I weed, I see so much evidence of God's handiwork in nature. Little bitty toads are quite common and one morning one hopped on my foot. I thought it was a chunk of dirt until it hopped away. There was also the night, just as day was ending and the sun about to set, that I saw a deer about 1oo yards away from me. He watched me for a while and I watched him, then I went to the house and he jumped over the fence and away he went. Mark tells me there are probably snakes out there, but so far I have not seen a single one and I'm very thankful for that. Toads are reptilian enough, snakes would make it a bit less of a sanctuary.

The hillside is where God gave me the words for my dad's service long before I even knew he would get sick, which at the time was a bit puzzling and sort of uncomfortable, but now I understand why those came. I needed time to be prepared. As I was pulling weeds, after learning about my dad's probable cancer, the thought came that this could all go fast. A few hours later he went into the hospital with massive lung clots and a few hours after that suffered the stroke. I wish now I had left the hillside at that moment and gone in the house and called my dad. But, while I thought "fast", I expected weeks or months, not hours. A reminder to write that letter, make that phone call or send that e-mail immediately, don't wait. Fast can be faster than we think.

I was out on my hillside the morning Mark came to tell me that while we were in Ohio, Capi's brother had called and left a message saying Capi had lost her battle with cancer and her suffering was over. Shortly after Mark left, a hummingbird came and hovered next to me for a few seconds before flying off. I love hummingbirds and hadn't seen very many of them this year.

Over a year ago in the spring and summer when I started thinking about what to do with my hillside I didn't know I would need a sanctuary. I just wanted to improve my landscaping. But God knew I would need a place where I would see Him, where I could talk with Him and know He heard me. I believe the thoughts, the hummingbird, the deer, the toads, the success and beauty of the wildflowers are all gifts from Him. We took 2 bags of pretty plain looking seeds, spread them on a weedy hillside and with that, God created a miracle.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Still Grateful

It's been a tough summer. On July 1, my dad passed away. He was so precious and dear to me and truthfully, I just want him back. Then about two weeks after my dad left us, a friend from college who had battled breast cancer for six years, also went to her eternal home. So it's time to write that God is still good and my thankful heart.

I am thankful for God's hedge of protection as I traveled back and forth to Wisconsin this summer. I am thankful for the example my dad was to me on how to live a faith-filled life. I'm thankful that my dad's service was filled with hope and reassurance. I'm thankful for the sound of Katie's voice as she gives Noah his trumpet lesson. I am thankful that Jeff could fix my speedometer and take care of my car at a fraction of the cost I would have had to pay otherwise. I am thankful for the outpouring of support from the people in the Sheboygan Falls/Oostburg/Himgham/ Cedar Grove area. I'm thankful for Barb's gift of playing the piano and how she poured herself into her music at the service for my dad. I'm thankful for my wildflower hillside project, a place to think, pray and reflect. I'm thankful for the little hummingbird who stopped next to me for a few seconds shortly after Mark told me that Capi had lost her battle with breast cancer. I'm thankful for a day browsing in the fun little shops of Cedarburg with my mom. I'm thankful for Caan's and Culver's greenhouses. I'm thankful that I discovered journals by Marva Sheriff. I'm thankful for the Christian marriage of Zach and Christina. I'm thankful that while life ends for some, we have new life to look forward to with the birth of Ruth Vinson and waiting for the birth of Emily, Sarah and Jennifer's babies. I'm thankful for Rachel G's writing and her heart. I'm thankful dad was able to be at home for the last days of his life. I'm thankful for the support of friends who drive to Wisconsin from Iowa and for the support of friends who stayed in Iowa and took care of our cats and dog and mail. I'm thankful for family summer birthday parties. I'm thankful for time with Cindy, although never enough time. I'm thankful for pictures from Tara. I'm thankful for wonderful spaghetti from Maggiono's. I'm thankful for the mother-daughter banquet in Sheboygan Falls last May when, although I did not know it at the time, gave me one more opportunity to see my dad. I'm thankful for Tyler's summer in Sicily and the work he is doing there. I am thankful for Rachel's summer in Mississippi and the work she did there. I am thankful that Carissa was home this summer and she was able to find jobs. I'm thankful for a fun day shopping with her in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin. I'm thankful for safety for Carson as he flew to NYC and back. I'm thankful for fun weekend in Ohio and I'm even thankful for roller coasters. I'm thankful for family and friends. I'm thankful for hope. I'm thankful that I have been redeemed.