Firsts and Lasts

It occurred to me recently that I am in a Season of Firsts. Since my dad passed away in July, I have gone through summer and fall and well into winter. Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone. These are our first holidays without my dad.

Thanksgiving isn't a holiday that I usually go home. This year my mom went to my dad's cousin, John and his wife Vonnie, and they filled candy bags for the Salvation Army. This is something my mom has done for several years, but this was the first year she did it without my dad. I was home for Christmas and this was the first year my dad wasn't at the head of the table and saying the prayer before our Christmas dinner. December 31 was my dad's birthday. This is the first year, I will think about him, but won't send a card or try to think of a gift for him. On January 1, we will begin a new year and things will happen in 2010, we'll have happy times and perhaps some not so happy times, but it's the first year my dad won't be a part of any of it.

Firsts aren't always bad, in fact many are good. I remember the first time I held my children, I remember their first words, their first steps, their first day of school, their first athletic endeavors. But this particular Season of Firsts is one I never wanted to happen. Karen Kingsbury has written a children's book called "Let me Hold You Longer" about "lasts."

So often we don't realize when we are having a "last." A couple weeks ago, Cody, Carson and Carissa were all home and as we were eating dinner, Cody made the remark that it had been a long time since our dinner table looked like it did that night. I remember all of them being there for dinner, but before this particular meal, I don't remember the last time it was the five of us at the dinner table. I remember the kids' first days of school, I took enough pictures to document the events, but I don't remember very many of their last days of school. When was the last time they sat in my lap while I read them a story? When was the last time I fed them? Or gave them a bath?

I have thought about "lasts" now for a while. Last summer as Noah and Brianna played in their brand new pool, I sat on the deck with Nancy and their neighbor, Fran, who has been in the neighborhood my whole life. On Christmas Eve last week, Fran passed away suddenly. I realized that night on the deck last summer was my last conversation with Fran. I never asked her about her life or her growing up years or how she met her husband. I realize that maybe every event, every encounter should be treated as a "last."

"Let me hold on longer, God, to every precious last." ("Let Me Hold You Longer" by Karen Kinsgbury.

Love Every Moment,

Good One

Mark sent this to me from school and I liked it.



*Ducks Quack - Eagles Soar*
No one can make you serve customers well....that's because great service is a choice.
Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'
Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment....
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I 'll take a Diet Coke.'
Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today..'
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'
And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts...
'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called "You'll See It When You Believe It". Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'
'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'
'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.
'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give the m a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you.... The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.
Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.

Loops in Life

The other night as Elizabeth and I drove home after her brothers' football game, we were talking about how we liked seeing things that didn't go together. As we were talking and our toes were actually starting to warm up after watching the game on a chilly night, we met a car pulling a boat. Like a boat that people ski behind. We laughed about how we were talking about contrasting things and there was a boat on a cold night. Who has a boat out after 10 p.m. when the temperature is barely 30 degrees?

This picture is one of my all-time favorites. I took it when we went to Rocky Mountain National Park in July 2005. I like it because Carissa and Elizabeth are in summer clothes and behind them are the mountains with snow.

I see this sight a lot as I drive around the area where I live.

I stood in the same place and took these pictures. On one side of the road, are houses and a very tidy neighborhood. Then I turned around and took a picture of a farm.

Sometimes something just seems odd. I think that may be why I find hospitals such interesting places. You find the joy of new life there and the sadness of a loved one leaving life. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details of being at the hospital in Sheboygan when my dad was there, but if I recall correctly, I think the birthing unit was on the same floor as the ICU where we watched over dad. People hear bad news, people hear good news. All in the same place.

I'm not sure this post has a point, it's just one of those things I like to think about and look for. Kind of like an oxymoron. You stop for a moment, puzzle over it a bit and then realize you have just been given a little gift.

Watching for surprises,

The Fields Are Indeed Ripe

As I drive around central Iowa, I have been seeing this sight a lot:

This is a field of soy beans ready to be harvested. I took this a couple weeks ago and by now the beans have been taken out of the field. At that time, the corn still had a bit of green about the stalks and leaves; now it too is ready to be picked.

There are a bunch of lessons here, about the plants needing to die before being picked to provide food and nourishment, to fulfill the purpose for which they were planted. But the one I am most reminded of comes from John 4:35: Do you not say, "Four months more and then the harvest?" I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.

I read a disturbing article in the paper this week about child pornography and even in my job typing on people's problems that are a result of poor choices and circumstances, I believe, indeed, the fields are ready for harvest.

Let's Have a Harvest Party,

Blogging?

On a recent note I posted, this was a comment Brenda made: I recently was considering why I blog.

I was at Michael's craft store the other day and the scrapbook aisle always draws me like ants to jelly. I was looking over the stickers and other scrapbooking accessories and the word "memory" was available in every way imaginable. There were ways to remember vacations, sports, every grade in school, weddings, childhood milestones, and on and on it goes. I think we are more aware of the significance of memories, of remembering certain times of our lives or even just the everyday-ness of life. We hold our memories a little more tightly.

Blogging is a part of that. A young lady, named Paige, who I think is wonderful, recently began her blog and she had some doubts and wondered if it was something she should do. I have read some things she has written and she is a gifted writer. She had a lot of encouragement and I'm happy to say she started blogging. All the blogs I have listed on this site are written by people I know and I love reading all of them.

But back to the reasons for blogging. Do I write because I think people are interested in my life? I think probably not. Personally, I cannot even imagine who would be interested. I don't even think my family reads the things I write. In fact, I don't know if anyone does. But that's okay. While I love my life, I'm sure to many it seems pretty ordinary, not too much excitement. But I believe that's probably how my parents and my grandparents saw their lives and now I want to know more about those lives. The irony of life is that we often become interested after the opportunity has passed. My mom has talked about "thrashing" season while she was a young girl. What was it like for my grandparents to farm? My Grandma Brasser used to talk about taking a sleigh in the winter. With horses. Pulling it. I would like to read their blogs now. So maybe someday, a grandchild or a great grandchild will want to read what life was like when we had to use computers and cell phones.

As Brenda asked the question, someone replied that they blog to remember. I can look back at other posts and see how God worked through something. If my family ever does read mine, they might get a little different glimpse of me that I don't always show. Not because I don't want to, just more because I don't think about it. It can be tiring to those around you to always have the waterfall of emotions going on. There are things I want to remember, the way I was feeling at certain times. Blogs remind me of what happened when and how I responded to it and how God used it. It can show how a person is feeling at a certain time and what is happening in their life. Even if no one else in the whole wide world reads it, you still have that place where you can remember what that time in your life was like. So write, be reminded of God's hand in your life, and then Give Thanks.

Blog on,

What's Cool For You, May Not Be Cool For Me

We were in Chicago over the weekend visiting Carissa and she had found a tour we could take that followed the El Lines and gave us an opportunity to do some walking and see some sites that are not quite as well known in Chicago. As we were waiting for the El to get back to our car, Carissa picked up a newspaper called RedEye. One of the articles was called "The 'It' Factor" and attempted to educate us on what was in, out or whatever. In other words, it was going to tell us about the Chicago Cool Index. I read the article and then decided to come up with Linda's Cool Index. Here's my cool list so far:

8. Public Transportation. I love public transportation. What a luxury to have scheduled time every day to read, to listen to music, hear a couple podcasts. I would not hear the "ding" of the dryer in the background or look up and see the dust bunnies in the corner telling me sweep them up NOW. In the bigger picture, it's much cheaper than driving and parking fees, it attempts to ease congestion, with fewer cars taking up space. Win-win.

7. Living downtown in a city. Take away transportation completely. Everything within walking distance. There is definitely a vibrant atmosphere and what a variety of people. Here is what the streets looked like that we walked. Looks a little tight, but it makes my cool list.

6. Green living. This was also considered cool in this very liberal publication so it really is possible for conservatives and liberals to find common ground. Nature fascinates me and God has created this amazing earth. Recycle, reuse waste less and be a little kinder to our world.

5. Contentment. I believe it is very cool to be content with who you are and what you have. It's not so cool to always want what you don't have and envy others' successes or stuff. Ick.

4. Healthy Living. It was a beautiful day when we took our hike and as we walked around Chicago, there were many people out walking, riding bikes, and moving. "Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." (I Cor. 6:19-20)

3. Take the extra step. I wish when I do something, I would take it one step further. How many times in a day can I make life just a little easier for someone else? Can I hold a door open for the person behind me? Can I let the person with 3 items in their grocery cart go ahead of me? Can I let a car squeeze in front of me on the freeway when I'm just a little bit annoyed with the driver for trying to get 6 cars ahead when we knew long ago that lane was going to close? Monica talks about anticipating needs. How can I give what someone needs before they even know they need it? I accept this as a challenge.

2. Strive for excellence. When I see someone excel at what they do, it literally gives me goosebumps. Listening to Barb or Zach play the piano, watching professional football players, appreciating a good author. My friend, Betty, is a math genius. She sees numbers and letters and odd-looking symbols and you can just see the wheels in her head turning and in about two seconds she has the answer. And it's the right answer although I wouldn't know. Because of her, I will get through math this term. But being the best doesn't always require talent. There is a young black gentleman who is a cashier down at Iowa Methodist Medical Center by the name of Darrett. He greets every person who comes through his line by name and if he can't read it off your name badge, he asks to see it better. If patient families come through, he is equally friendly, asking everyone about their day. Last week, I had to work at the hospital and went down to get my grilled cheese because honestly they make the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever. I had been down earlier for a little refreshment and when I came back several hours later, Darrett still rememered my name and asked me if my day was still going well. Whether you are a student, a football player, a teacher or a medical transcriptionist, do your very best. I don't want the words "good enough" to be in my vocabulary. Or at least not in the same sentence. "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." (Colossions 3:23)

1. Love God, Love People. In my D-group at ICA is a young girl named Amanda. Amanda has such a sweet spirit, but it's her very real concern for others that gives me an appreciation for her that's on a different level. She has an "old" soul and that's very rare in a 17-year-old. During our D-group meeting a few weeks ago, I mentioned I had had a tough summer, but didn't go into any details. At the end of our meeting, all the girls left except Amanda. She stayed and honestly wanted to know about my experiences of the summer. I can't think of too many things more cool than a genuinely caring heart like Amanda's. "Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. (I John 4:7)

Well, there it is. My top 8 cool things; probably different from most lists, but hopefully what's cool for me today will not go out of style.

Live Big,

Tick Tock, You Just Can't Stop The Clock

I saw this quote a couple days back and while it's a bit of a mind bender, it's true. Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires. ~Charles Caleb Colton.

I've had a lot of thoughts about time in my head lately. I've been organizing pictures trying to make order of them. So many memories contained in a little square I can hold in my hand.

The change of the seasons reminds me of the tick-tock of time. The last time I had a conversation with my dad was May 21, spring was well on its way. Then he told me about his cancer diagnosis on the phone the first part of June and June 18, he suffered the blood clots, just as we were starting summer. He passed away on July 1 with the funeral on July 6, the 4th of July holiday sandwiched in between - the height of the summer season. Now it's fall, the weather is starting to feel different, football season is well on its way. Sometimes I want to put my hands over my ears and scream "CAN IT ALL STOP FOR JUST A MINUTE?" Each season change feels like it takes me one more step away from my life with my dad.

Last Sunday, we started a new theme in church about time, which just makes me smile because so often I have something in my head and then God gives me more opportunities to gain new insights into something.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him and his righteousness with their children's children. (Psalm 103:14-6) (Once again lessons from the hillside. The wildflowers flourish for a time, but soon they will be gone.)

One of Jay's points was "Delight shows up in time usage." I like that. He also said "There are more negative journeys than positive ones." Postive choices are intentional. So it has to be my goal to make live a certain way of life, who can I bless today? My time can be spent finding delight in God.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or site in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

In "Fiddler on the Roof" as Tevye is thinking about his daughters' desire to marry men they have chosen, he sees them from a distance and sort of fuzzy. So still looking back over my shoulder to look at my dad, it feels like he is standing still while time keeps me moving forward. No, I can't stop time, fall will turn to winter, and winter once again to spring, but like my dad, my desire is to intentially spend my time living "The God Way of Life."

Love God, Love Others,